Public Apology

Dear Blog,

I realize I have neglected you, and it isn't because of anything you've done. It's not you, it's me. I've been squandering my time on other things like raising small children, fixing up my bike for cycling season, spring cleaning (inside and out!) and... yes, CrackBook. I personally think it oughta be called Fast Food for the Soul. Anyway, my point is, I'm sorry I haven't spent more time with you lately. To be forthright, I don't know if that's going to change anytime soon. I just don't want you sitting up late at night wondering if I'm going to post something to you and going to bed sad if I don't.

I'd say more, but I'm pretty certain that right this minute, one of my friends has posted a new and humorous status update and I'm missing the opportunity to offer the first snarky-but-friendly witticism in response. So, I'm out. Catch you later.

Sincerely,

Me

[just a moment ago]   [comment]     [like]

Internal Dialogue

A one-act play based very loosely on the twelfth chapter of I Corinthians.
For Edwin.
* * * * * * * * * * *

HEART: Hi there, nice to meet you.

COLON: You too! What do you do around here?

HEART: I send oxygenated blood to every square inch of this place. Not to brag or anything, but I'm something of a lynchpin to the operation. Yes sir, this place would fall apart without me. You?

COLON: I spend all day dealing with shit.

HEART: Boy, don't we all! Ha, ha... seriously, though, what's your department?

COLON: Seriously, though... that's my job. I handle *shit.*

HEART: Why would you do that?

COLON: What am I, the brain? Hell if I know.

HEART: Surely you were meant for something better. You're hollow and muscular just like me -- surely you're supposed to be pumping blood too!

COLON: No, no... they taught me in training: if blood makes it to my department, it's a sign that something's going wrong upstairs.

HEART: Why would that mean something was-- hey! HEY! You just let a bacterium in there!

COLON: Of course I did. That's Acidophilus. He lives here. Helps me keep the place in order.

HEART: What the...? Listen, I don't know what you think you're doing, but I was taught that consorting with bacteria could cost me my job!

COLON: And *I* was taught that I couldn't do my job properly without them... so it would seem our procedures are a little different.

HEART: Two parts of the same body getting opposite assignments? That's ridiculous! I don't think you have any idea what you're doing. I think you're just pulling your "procedures" out of your ass!

ASS: Hey, don't bring *me* into this...

Overheard 02.20.09

"When I saw this, I thought it was something you'd like -- unfortunately, I was right."

-- my housemate Jefe, as he poured me a second glass of the evening's new discovery, Unibroue's Quelque Chose. (Thanks again, Jefe.)

Blog Makeover

Decided to give my blog a facelift. (Whaddya think?) It's a new year, after all, and a great time to make some changes and do some spring cleaning. Keep an eye out for more recipes, updated links and... whatever else I can bring you between diaper changes. :)

Oh, and yeah, I'm on Facebook now. Thanks to Jefe for shaming me into it.

For My [Stay-At-] Homies

With my son napping and my daughter in her sling, I found myself in the playroom this afternoon sorting and putting away the books, the toys, the flash cards, and the Duplo blocks... with my feet.

You heard me.

It took the better part of half an hour, and my legs are a little sore (seriously, try it sometime), but it was a fun little game and a welcome diversion from the daily routine. 

If you're saying to yourself, "Man, that's just sad," I'd almost bet money you aren't a stay-at-home mom with very small children. This post isn't for you. It's probably best you just move along.

No, this post is dedicated to all the other SAHMs out there. You other ladies who find yourself saying things incomprehensible outside our circle, like "oh, it's just pee"... who know what a rare and slightly surreal experience it is to go [shopping] [potty] [damn near anywhere] without an entourage... who find yourself standing in the checkout line still doing the standing-on-a-cruise-ship sway even when you aren't holding your baby... this one's for you.

Oh, the freaking irony:  my son just woke up from his nap... crying. Guess I'm done with this post.

Can one of you take over from here? :)