Pro-Life? Pro-Choice? Or...

I've been trying to keep my MySpace profile updated with a picture representing each week of my little Sugar Bean's development, but I'm having a problem: when I run an image search for "x week old baby," most of the photos that come up are of babies who've been out of the womb that long... and when I search for "x week old fetus," most of the photos that come up are of babies aborted at those stages.

Abortion never fails to be a polarizing subject, and it will surprise some of you to learn that I can't claim wholehearted allegiance to either camp. Whatever your beliefs about the issue might be, the line will almost always blur when circumstances bring you close to it...

A close friend of many years had always stood firmly on the abortion-is-never-the-answer side of the line, attending protests and sit-ins even after having been arrested for it. Then, not long after she discovered she was pregnant, she also discovered medical circumstances surrounding that pregnancy could put her health (and chances of future conception) at risk. No conversations about the obvious contradiction between her beliefs in theory and practice were overheard on the way to the procedure, on the way home or at any point afterward. Of course no one judged her for the decision she made, but I wondered how she explained it to herself... if indeed she ever did.

Another friend I'd invited over for brunch in the first trimester of my last pregnancy. She excitedly asked me rapid-fire questions about my plans as a mommy-to-be, appearing to enjoy the details as much as I did... until I reached in my pocket and produced a tiny plastic model of a twelve-week-old baby -- a gift from my sonographer -- and began explaining the organs and processes that were already functioning at this early stage of my son's development.
My friend suddenly paled. She leaned back on the couch and exhaled heavily, as though she were deflating. She looked as if she'd just received terrible news about the murder of family members.
In a way, she had. 

"You know," she began quietly, "at a point in my life when I was still using [heroin] a lot..." I nodded understandingly. We'd spoken at length about her life before recovery. I could tell I was walking through an epiphany with her as she continued, "...and the people at the clinics always just called it 'tissue' they were removing, and you never saw it, obviously. Nobody tells you about this" -- here she held up the plastic baby -- "and I was always further along than you are now..."

A pro-life friend who ended up getting an abortion, and a pro-choice friend who now desperately wishes she hadn't -- these were two beautiful souls, both with babies who wound up in better circumstances than they would have otherwise, both with eyes open a bit wider than before, neither deserving of anything but love and support in learning that life is a lot messier than our tidy belief systems.

So ask me where I stand on the issue, and I'll tell you I'm with the guy who healed a crippled man on a holy day because the man was more important to him than adhering to the religious observances... the man who helped an adulterous woman beat her bad rap when the law called for beating her with rocks. Ask me if I'm pro-life or pro-choice, and I'll tell you:

I'm pro-love. 

Comments

[cheryl]

I think, for a time, I thought I held the higher moral ground because according to the stats "90% of women carrying a child with down syndrome choose to abort". Of course I didn't know when I was pregnant that Ethan had down syndrome. But over the years I wonder about this 90% and who they are and how they feel. Have they seen Ethan and what feelings does that bring up in them? Maybe indifference, maybe intense regret and the knowledge they may have been lied to by medical professionals. I don't have to live with that after-math, but my heart goes out to those who do. I pray that those who truly have a choice will choose life and that those who follow Jesus will carry a spirit of adoption.

[Melissa]

I appreciate your comments. You brought tears to my eyes when contemplating the love of our Savior and how He shows us it through extended grace.