Internal Dialogue
Saturday, March 7, 2009 at 09:59PM A one-act play based very loosely on the twelfth chapter of I Corinthians.
For Edwin.
* * * * * * * * * * *
HEART: Hi there, nice to meet you.
COLON: You too! What do you do around here?
HEART: I send oxygenated blood to every square inch of this place. Not to brag or anything, but I'm something of a lynchpin to the operation. Yes sir, this place would fall apart without me. You?
COLON: I spend all day dealing with shit.
HEART: Boy, don't we all! Ha, ha... seriously, though, what's your department?
COLON: Seriously, though... that's my job. I handle *shit.*
HEART: Why would you do that?
COLON: What am I, the brain? Hell if I know.
HEART: Surely you were meant for something better. You're hollow and muscular just like me -- surely you're supposed to be pumping blood too!
COLON: No, no... they taught me in training: if blood makes it to my department, it's a sign that something's going wrong upstairs.
HEART: Why would that mean something was-- hey! HEY! You just let a bacterium in there!
COLON: Of course I did. That's Acidophilus. He lives here. Helps me keep the place in order.
HEART: What the...? Listen, I don't know what you think you're doing, but I was taught that consorting with bacteria could cost me my job!
COLON: And *I* was taught that I couldn't do my job properly without them... so it would seem our procedures are a little different.
HEART: Two parts of the same body getting opposite assignments? That's ridiculous! I don't think you have any idea what you're doing. I think you're just pulling your "procedures" out of your ass!
ASS: Hey, don't bring *me* into this...
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